hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
