Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
