that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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