its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
