i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
