whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
