come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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