thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
