If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
