Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
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