what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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