In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize