please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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