Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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