We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
