your parents love me but you hate me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
