yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
