Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
