my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
