how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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