at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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