i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
