I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
