So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
