I wish you could order shots online.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
