Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
