Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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