is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
