i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
BRING THE BAGELS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
