Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
