I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
