can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
