I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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