Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
