it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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