So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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