Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You ruined the universe
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
