make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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