she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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