Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
