Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
