Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
