did you get engaged???
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
