well you can't waste a boner
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
