i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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