He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
