Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
they're like a gay fantastic four
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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