i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
