I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
