yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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