there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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