i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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