So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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