i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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