Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
