I'm laying in your front yard are you home
In America we eat man semen.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
