Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
