Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize