he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
