If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
