I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
