Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize