i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
