he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
