They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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