i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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