I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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