Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
