My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
