I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
