Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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