So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
