awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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