physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
